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The Lost Art of Being There

Life is happening. Are you here while it’s unfolding? When you’re home, are you really home, or still at work? While at work, are you at home? When your children are talking to you, looking for attention and guidance, are you attentive, guiding? Is your spouse nurtured or neglected? Are you so adept at “multi-tasking” that you’ve lost the ability to be present in the present?

Many of us mistake distraction for living. We’ve developed the illusion of living, and lost the art of being there. I’m being honest – because this is one of my own struggles. I bet you can identify. When did we start thinking doing more meant living life better? I’m not sure it really matters if we understand when it all began. What matters is that we took the bait – and we’re missing out on life.

LIFE IS HAPPENING. ARE YOU MISSING IT?

LIFE IS HAPPENING. ARE YOU MISSING IT?

Recapture the lost are of being there. Here are some things I’m working on that may be helpful for you, too:

  1. Pay attention when people talk to you. Use eye contact. Stop what you are doing and pay attention.
     
  2. If you can’t give someone your full attention at the moment, simply explain you don’t have time at the moment, but you will next time.
     
  3. If you find that you have to resort to #2 repeatedly, you may be too busy, too distracted, too focused on things rather than people.
     
  4. Listen to, prioritize, spend time with and really be there with your spouse, making it obvious that nothing else on earth matters. Do this often, because your spouse is the most important person God has given you.
     
  5. Listen to, prioritize, spend time with and really be there with your children, making it obvious that nothing else on earth matters. Do this often, because your children are the most important people God has given you.
     
  6. Forgive people and move on. Stop being a fault-finder. If you don’t forgive, you won’t be able to be “here” in the present – because you’ll be stuck in the past. Forgive people the way you need to be forgiven and get on to the important things of life, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
     
  7. Plan down time, or it will escape you. You have seven days in a week. One day should be a day of rest. Schedule it, guard it. Love it. If you do, it will even help the other six days be more productive. Try it for four weeks and see for yourself.
     
  8. Start and end your days in prayer, reading the Bible and making it your objective to put it into action each day. Ask God to help you. He will. Not sure where to begin? Start with the Gospels, observing how Jesus dealt with people, and follow in His footsteps.

I struggle with “being there” and I bet you do, too. I’m sure I will until my last breath. I need to be committed to recapturing the lost art of being there. Until our final moment, let’s do all we can to become the best version of ourselves possible. It think that’s a worthy endeavor, don’t you?

Great Relationships: Pour Conversations Through This Funnel

Great Relationships: Pour Conversations Through This Funnel

BULLET BLOG . . .

 

IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO IMPROVE EVERY RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE, LOOK NO FURTHER. IF YOU REALLY WANT YOUR LIFE TO CHANGE, HERE’S THE GAME-CHANGER. It’s a bit of ancient philosophy that’s timeless and potent for twenty-first century living. If you pour every conversation through this filter – before it begins – your entire life will turn around. God will use you to turn the lives of others around, too. USE THIS FILTER FOR SEVEN DAYS STRAIGHT AND IT WILL SPARK A REVOLUTION. I’m not kidding. Here is the great relationship “funnel” courtesy of Ephesians 4:29:

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ”

WHY NOT SHARE THIS “BULLET BLOG” ON YOUR FB WALL?

 

Can you think of another “filter” through which to pour your words? Our words are powerful – but let your words be used for good, not evil. In fact, don’t even let them be used for neutrality. Life is too short to live in neutral.

STOP SETTLING. Don’t merely avoid negative, toxic conversations – start using every word like an artist painting deliberately on a palette. Create beautiful things with your words. Our words can bring people together or driver them apart.  They can glorify God – or Satan. What are your words doing? Who are they glorifying?

If you are a Christ-follower, follow Him. Ephesians 4:29 says our words reveal how closely we are following. Consider Ephesians 4:17:

“Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.”

Stop living like you used to. Let the power of God take you further today in your walk with Him and people.

SUGGESTED PRAYER: Lord, help me follow You. Help me to consciously use my words to fulfill what Ephesians 4:29 says. Help my words build others up, fit the occasion and give grace to every single listener, for your glory.
I’D LOVE TO READ YOUR COMMENTS. ARE YOU REALLY FOLLOWING THE JESUS YOU WANT EVERYONE ELSE TO FOLLOW? Are your words corrupting or encouraging? Do they build people up or tear others down? Are people genuinely closer to God after having a conversation with you? If the aren’t, you’re USING THE WRONG FUNNEL . . .

 

Godfactor founder & president, Michael Anthony. Mike is an author, blogger, Youtuber and award-winning Christian speaker.

“BULLET BLOG” is the name I came up with for my fast reads, designed to give you one solid truth that can powerfully change your life. I typically publish them on Friday mornings. You can catch my other blogs throughout the week, along with my podcast and videos. Your comments are always appreciated. For more about me, click on the image or here. If you’d like to request an interview, or explore the potential of my speaking your group, click here.

 

Have You Lost Your Mojo?

THE GREAT AMERICAN TRAGEDY OF 2016 MAY NOT BE OUR RAGING RACIAL DIVISION, CONTINUED ECONOMIC DECLINE, MORAL MALAISE OR EVEN THE BATTLE OVER THE REDEFINITION OF GENDER (who among us ever thought we’d see that debated?). The greatest tragedy of 2016 may not even be the political circus we’re all witnessing. (Any day now, I’m convinced that one of the candidates is going to produce three rubber balls and start juggling). When the smoke of 2016 clears and all the dust settles, it may be said that the greatest tragedy of 2016 was that all the while that God was speaking, His people weren’t listening.

The National Week Of Repentance is underway. It’s not too late to participate in this historic, simultaneous movement of God and people throughout the america. Click here to jump in.

We believers seem to have a serious case of ‘spiritual amnesia.’ We’ve lost our story . . . This is not merely a problem. It’s a self-inflicted, mortal gunshot wound to our witness. We’re robbing God of His glory . . .

We American Christians are confused. We want the world to follow a Jesus we’re not following. We’re not reading our Bibles, spending much time in prayer or prioritizing forgiveness and reconciliation. No wonder no one is interested in following us. We believers seem to have a serious case of “spiritual amnesia.” We’ve lost our story. We seem to have forgotten the very core of the gospel: forgiveness and reconciliation. As a pastor, the number one problem I continually see in the Church is the disinterest, inability and outright refusal to forgive and reconcile – by people who claim to know, follow and love Jesus Christ. This is not merely a problem. It’s a self-inflicted, mortal gunshot wound to our witness. It’s also robbed God of His glory, since there is no gospel without forgiveness and reconciliation.

Listening precedes following. Following demonstrates obedience. Obedience reflects love. The truth may very well be that many of us – perhaps the overwhelming majority – have fallen out of love with the God we want others to follow. The Bible has a word for this, and it stings. It’s called hypocrisy. Here is how Merriam Webster defines this word:

HYPOCRISY: the behavior of people who do things that they tell other people not to do; behavior that does not agree with what someone claims to believe or feel.

No one wakes up in the morning looking for ways to be a hypocrite. But hypocrisy will become the default of life if we don’t intentionally pursue the Jesus we want everyone else to follow. Jesus says, “Beware the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy” (Luke 12:1).

Jesus says, “If you love me, keep my commands” (John 14:15, NIV). He also says, “Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me . . .” (John 14:21, NIV)

ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN LEADER? Have you forgotten that in order to effectively lead others, you must really be following your LORD?

ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN PARENT OR GUARDIAN? Do you realize that the greatest need for the children under your care is to know that you are someone who truly walks with God?

WHAT IF EVERY CHRIST-FOLLOWER FOLLOWED CHRIST THE WAY YOU DO? Would that be a good thing, or would life go on, business as usual?

WHY POSTPONE YOUR GREATEST POTENTIAL FOR JESUS CHRIST? Get your ACTION GUIDE for this week’s National Week of Repentance. It will help you put aside unintentional hypocrisy and get back on track with Jesus Christ. You can download it by clicking here.

WHAT IS GOD SAYING TO YOU THAT YOU REALLY NEED TO HEAR AND ACT UPON? HOW HAS GOD BEEN TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION? WHAT DOES YOUR BEHAVIOR SAY ABOUT YOUR LOVE FOR JESUS CHRIST?

The Painful Joys of Being Snowbound

SNOW HAS A WAY OF DOING SOMETHING MAGICAL TO YOU. I’m not talking about snow flurries. I’m talking about a LOT of snow. The nearly 30 INCHES that fell the day before yesterday – all in one massive purge – left our family and many others completely snowbound, unable to go anywhere or do anything other than shovel snow, recover, make a toboggan run, eat, spend time together and repeat. But the snow has also has given me ample time to be with no one other than myself. Herein lies the problem. There are painful joys in being snowbound.
Sometimes I like myself. At times, I even like myself a bit too much. Then there are other times when I don’t like myself at all.

“A sail is a poor excuse for travel if the wind is wanting.”

toboggan

Being snowbound means the usual ability to get out and move about is shut down. Completely. Never mind the milk and eggs, honey. This means I will definitely run out of distractions – those things that subtly take me away from living the kind of life for which I was designed, and destined, by the Almighty. With all this snow and time on my hands, I have lots of distraction-free time to get back to the business of life – the only one I’ll ever get.

“As a Christ-follower, I must wrestle – really wrestle – with the culture of self. And, I must wrestle it to the point of daily extinction. If confession is good for the soul, I’m now immersed in a lake of God-inspired goodness.”

I tend to think too much of myself. Accordingly, I get in my own way. Actually, I get in God’s way a great deal, as well. Who needs the devil when we can be our own worst enemy? It’s easy to do in a culture where each of us is encouraged to be center stage. But culture doesn’t make it right. As a Christ-follower, I must wrestle – really wrestle – with the culture of self. And, I must wrestle it to the point of daily extinction. A Christ-follower is to run counter culture.

plow

plow

Do I truly care about my two boys – to the point of being emotionally engaged in the interests, hurts, fears and thrills that eleven and nine-year old boys experience? Do I care to the point of being so engaged that it will make a difference for them when they become young men, middle-aged men and perhaps even old men, long after I’m gone?

What about my wife, who sacrificially gives herself to both of them, and me, in ways that only a wife and mother can appreciate? Do I truly care for her at an emotional level, and put myself aside so that she can be a lot more successful, in ways that would not be possible if I were not around?

“A reflective, repentant, renewed and refocused life is a powerful weapon in the war against mediocrity.”

Though solitude and self-examination can be painful, they can also be LIFE-savers. I’ve found that it’s leading me to the feet of Jesus in a bit of confession. Well, let me be brutally honest – a lot of confession. If confession is good for the soul, I’m now immersed in a lake of God-inspired goodness. It’s agonizingly beautiful. Paul’s advice to the Corinthians so many centuries ago is so excellent for us in these hectic times:

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test?” – 2 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV, italics mine)

What about my church? It’s so frighteningly easy to go through the motions of ministry without being moved by the Holy Spirit.It concerns me so much that with nearly each passing year I reach the conclusion that this year will be the unique year. Thiswill be the year when I truly begin walking with God, listening to Him, surrendering fully, and allowing Him to carry me along with the ease at which Philip was blown into the path of the Ethiopian eunuch (Acts 8:26-40). And then the snow comes, and I am reminded of how much the sail of my life needs the wind of the Holy Spirit. A sail is a poor excuse for travel if the wind is wanting.

“It’s so frighteningly easy to go through the motions of ministry without being moved by the Holy Spirit.”

Yes, ma’am, when a soul has nowhere to go but within, a soul sure does think. There are so many distractions I’ve not only allowed in my life, but also welcomed, that I have forgotten the painful joys that can only be found in solitude. Solitude helps us reflect, repent, renew and refocus. A reflective, repentant, renewed and refocused life is a powerful weapon in the war against mediocrity. I’m sure this is not only true for me, but also for you. It’s true for all of us.

We could all use a bit more solitude and self-examination. The interruptions of life can be welcome interruptions if we see them as God-given opportunities to get back to what LIFE – the only one we’ll ever have this side of eternity – is all about.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? HOW’S THAT SOLITUDE THING GOING? HAVE YOU WELCOMED DISTRACTIONS INTO YOUR LIFE TO SUCH A DEGREE THAT YOU’VE SETTLED FOR A LIFE THAT’S FAR BELOW YOUR GREATEST POTENTIAL – AND GOD’S GREATEST DESIRE?

Bullet Blog: This Trait Will Make You Successful

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bus-1450216-639×426

There is a common trait found among people who are continually successful. Yes, anyone can have a successful moment here and there – but if we want to consistently experience success in all areas of life, there is one trait that increases our odds like none other. What is it? I’m down here in the Dominican Republic, with the family, making some new friends. Our time has made me reconsider this trait. When we see it in action, it’s obvious. When we don’t, it’s repulsive. There is a trait that will make you successful, above all others.

Think about it: we all love the company that has great customer service. But what is great customer service? Its caring for the customer. Why would we think it is any different when it comes to our personal interactions with people? The truth is, it isn’t. The relationships we treasure the most are those that we have with people we believe really care about us. No wonder we care about them. There is something contagious about . . . caring.

The common trait found among people who are continually successful is that they care more about others than themselves. This trait will make you successful – consistently – because you will stand out from the crowd. Very few people these days care more about others than themselves. Consider the timeless words of Philippians 2:21:

“For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.” (NIV)

Consider Philippians 2:3-4, too:

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (ESV)

If we have every other trait of “success” but not the trait of genuinely looking out for the interests of Jesus Christ and others, are we really successful? If we look out for the interests of Jesus Christ, we can’t help but look out for the interests of others – because Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of doing exactly that. When we follow Jesus, we become like Jesus. We care about Him, and others, more than ourselves.

What about you? Whose interests do you look out for? On your quest for “success,” are you missing success? 

What’s Playing In The Theater of Your Mind?

Thoughts are things. They are either good, bad or neutral. Good and bad thoughts consume the same amount of energy – but one is priceless and the other costly. Why not use your limited energy to embrace good thoughts while disregarding the bad? What’s playing in the theater of your mind? It makes all the difference in the world. Here are some important things to consider about your thought life so that you turn it around, keep it on track, and live your best life for God right here, right now:

  1. What we do in public begins in secret.Before something is seen in public, it is thought about in private. The mind, in a very real sense, is the soil where we plant the seeds of life or death. We really do reap what we sow.
  2. “Neutral” thoughts are like sweets– they take up valuable space that could be used for good thoughts.  “Neutral” thoughts take up valuable space that could be used for positive thoughts. In the end, then, a thought really isn’t “neutral” at all.
  3. Negative thoughts are neither neutral nor beneficial– they not only take up valuable space that could be used for good thoughts, but never result in anything good. Negative thoughts rob us of happiness, productivity, healthy relationships and progress in every area of life. There is no good that can come from a negative thought – so why tolerate even one? Have you been allowing your mind to run on auto pilot? If you have, there’s a good chance that negative thoughts have been wreaking havoc, ransacking your well-being.
  4. Positive thoughts are the only ones that are beneficial to you, others and God.  They are the only thoughts that will move you in the right direction. Why not begin (or rekindle) the process of capturing every neutral or negative thought and replacing it with a positive one? Consider 2 Corinthians 10:5:

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ . . .”

stairway-to-heaven-1224656-1279x1705

stairway-to-heaven-1224656-1279×1705

Every single one of us has the moment by moment choice to determine what plays in the theater of our mind. Everything we do was first done in the mind. Everything. Are you bitter? You’ll behave like a bitter person. Unforgiving? You will be an unforgiving person. Generous? You will behave in generous ways with others.

Think about it. Literally.You’ve been spending mental energy on negative, neutral and positive thoughts. Have any of your thoughts – except the positive ones – been helpful to you, others or God? The amazing thing is that every one of us has the same answer to this question: “No.” But not every one of us will do something about it. You have the power to make a positive change right now. You have the power to take captive every thought, to get rid of negative thoughts and neutral, space-wasting thoughts – and replace them with good thoughts.

YOUR SOURCE FOR POSITIVE THOUGHTS
Looking for good thoughts to replace the negative and the neutral? The Bible is filled with them. Start your day with a bit of reading from the Bible. Fill it with the same. End your day, just before bed, with more reading from the Bible. Put into action whatever you read. You will begin to take captive every thought. Space that was previously taken up by negative, neutral thoughts will be overwhelmed by your new, positive thoughts. Your entire life will begin to turn around – and it will all be due to one simple, powerful thing: you made the choice to play good things in the theater of your mind.

What’s playing in the theater of your mind? Isn’t today a good day to play positive things? Have negative or “neutral” thoughts been sucking up valuable energy that could be spent on positive thoughts? You have the power to determine what you think. Why not take your thoughts captive throughout each day, so you move forward in every single way?

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